Words and Music by Dottie Burman

Opening Numbers are murder.

They're the hardest to write.

In fact in the theater, they often are written

The day before opening night.

So I've written two opening numbers.

But I don't know which one to pick!

I know what I'll do,

I'll sing them for you

And see if maybe one of them will click.

ANNOUNCER'S VOICE

The over-eager opening.

It's so wonderful

To really be here tonight

Singing my songs just for you.

It's so wonderful!

I'm really me here tonight.

There's nothing in this world

That I'd rather do.

Well not exactly nothing else!

I can think of other things and places.

But it's so wonderful

To really be here tonight

And to see all your lovely smiling faces.

Do I also see a few empty spaces?

Oh well, it's still a thrill to be here tonight!

ANNOUNCER'S VOICE

The kvetch opening.

I've been rehearsing night and day.

I've worked on ev'ry note.

I'm run down and exhausted.

And now I have a sore throat.

I'm getting laryngitis.

My pianist has bronchitis.

But he'll play in spite of his pain.

We'll do our best to entertain

Tho I've got those

"I'm-sorry-I-aplogize-

I-know-I-could-sing-better

But-please-love-me-anyway blues!"

Yes, opening numbers are murder.

They're the hardest to write.

In fact in this very same act

This was written the day before opening night.

Yes, opening numbers are murder.

But without them, something is wrong!

You need an opening number

If you want to sing the second song.